Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Flirting or Just Being Nice

I guess I have a lot going on in my head this month and feel the need to blog about it...but I know you all love it :)

So...this one comes from current events.  I don't like to be cruel, so I won't name names.

So a friend of a friend comes in to work every so often and the last time he came in I went over and talked to him for a few minutes.  He asked if I wanted to hang out sometime, and I said sure.  We exchanged numbers...normal stuff right?!

Well...apparently I entered a world of texting by being nice and accepting his invitation to hang out some time.  I haven't yet entirely figured out how to politely get out of exchanging numbers with someone who you know from mutual friends, but most of the time they're not creepy so I figure it's safe.  Plus if you happen to run into them other places, it makes it less awkward and you can be friendly and whatever.  That's what I thought I was doing...  And if we happened to hang out at a bar some night it would be no harm, no foul.  By the way...I don't understand why accepting an invitation to be hang out sometime (ps...that is very non-descriptive and can often mean never) and exchanging numbers means "Yes, I'm madly in love with you and can't wait for you to proclaim your love for me over text"  But I'm getting slightly off topic...

Pretty much from the moment he had my number he decided it was acceptable to text me (almost every day) about non-sense.  Asking what I was doing (which 90% of the time was working), telling me he always thought I was cute, telling me he wanted a neck massage, and other random stuff.  I guess it would be flattering if I thought he was attractive...but I don't remember that question being part of the pre-rec for "hanging out sometime".  Only today, after just over a week of this non-sense, did he finally ask me if I liked him.  And I almost hate that question more than having to go through all this crap in the first place, because I don't like to be mean to people.  I don't like making people feel bad, it's just not fun.  But when you ask direct questions, you get direct answers so...I told him I did not like him as anything more than a friend.  To which I have heard no reply...

So now I sit here thinking.  I'm glad that headache is over...  But when situations happen like this I always wonder...did I some how lead him to believe that I was interested?  Was I flirting or just being nice?  I'm pretty sure I was just being nice.  I didn't text him...he texted me.  I was almost always working...but if I really wanted to make time for him I probably could have...or could have at least tried to arrange something in the future.  But I didn't.

I think this situation happens to everyone at least once, on either side.  I just always feel bad hurting other people's feelings, but sometimes people really are just being nice...and that's all there is.

Until tomorrow my <3's

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Days Like Today

Time for some blog therapy...

It's days like today that I just want to scream.  And then I remember the quote that irritates me the most when I need it the most "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".  And I have to hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

I don't like whining to the General Public, so I'll attempt to avoid that here.  But I also must let out a little of my frustration...which in a sense means "whining".

So...on days like today I feel like a bad friend.  And there have been several times recently where I have also felt like a bad friend.  I hate that in order to do something with someone we a) pretty much have to go somewhere that is at $10 cab ride or so away from my house or b) you have to pick me up and drop me off...no matter how far out of your way that might be.  It's like conditional friendship and I hate it!

I miss driving, I miss being able to just pick up and go wherever I wanted, when I wanted.  I like freedom!  But more than anything I miss being able to hang out with my friends without limitations, help them out, pick them up, go meet them some where...just be able to spend time with them.  I love my friends more than anything, and I miss a lot of them more than they probably know.  But everyone has their own lives and I can't (and don't) expect them to be able to come pick me up, just so we can go do something. And because of that I don't get to see some of them as much as I want.  And that's why I get frustrated.  I wanted to go help a friend out today and due to circumstances beyond my control I couldn't and it makes me sad.

Well I guess that's all I've got for now.  I think it's time for some Music Therapy....  Hope everyone had a nice weekend!

Later <3's

Thursday, August 18, 2011

My Rules

I have two rules/qualifications when it comes to someone I might be able to spend my future with.  They're small, but I feel important.

1.  I have to like kissing you, we have to "fit".  When I say kissing, I do not mean making out, I mean the simple act of kissing.  I think kissing is an under-rated form of affection, but it's an important one.  Years from now when we're old and gray sex will become a less important act, but in my opinion kissing never gets old.

There are bad kissers out there, no one can be good at everything.  But what makes most people bad, in my opinion, is that you're just not "fitting" with the person you think is a bad kisser.  You're just not meant to be...

So that's Rule #1.  I have to like kissing you, because I'm going to want to for the rest of my life.

2.  I have to be able to sleep next to you in the same bed without you driving me insane.  And again I mean the simple act of sleeping.  This rule is insanely important to me, because as most people know I LOVE to sleep, so if you're going to be sleeping next to me for the rest of my life I better be getting good sleep.

I'm OCD, I like things a certain way.  Especially my bed!  I make it every day, the same way, I'm a neat sleeper, I like pillows and lots of blankets.  I like to cuddle, but I like my space when I'm ready to sleep.  I don't eat in my bed because it's where I sleep, and I like it to stay clean.  I wear the same pj's to bed every night, and I change when I get up because they are only for sleeping.  Some people aren't like that...and that's fine, but you're not for me.  And just for the record, despite what certain people have said, they have failed in this category...miserably!  When I say I'm picky...I mean it :)

I'm not really sure the point of this blog, just wanted to write it.  Enjoy!


Saturday, August 6, 2011

Our Generation

Our generation is all about sex, which seems to have made dating almost disappear.  How do you decide you like someone these days?  You have sex with them...  And if you like it you'll probably do it again, and eventually you may decide that you like them enough to be in a relationship with them.  If you can't find anyone new, you hook up with your ex's until you find someone new you might be interested in.  That's how we do things these days.

I'm not saying I'm innocent and have never participated in such activities, some of you know stories to the contrary.  But I've recently decided I'm over it.  It might just be a temporary state of mind, could be permanent...only time will tell.  But what I learned about myself from being with my ex was that I enjoyed sex a whole lot more when it was someone I was really interested in, someone who was interested in me, someone who made me feel special, comfortable.

There have been several movies out recently about the concept of "Friends with Benefits" which as we all know ends badly, because one person always develops more feelings for the other person than the other one develops.  I've been on both ends of this, I've been the one with more feelings and I've been the one with less feelings.  Either way, it's not fun.

I could say more on the subject, but I guess I will keep some things to myself.  Please don't be offended by anything I've said, I place no judgement on anyone who is participating/wants to participate in such activities.  I've just decided for the moment it's not for me.  I'm choosing to wait for the one who makes me feel special again.

Enjoy what's left of the weekend my <3's!