Saturday, December 24, 2011

Story Time

Although I am not feeling particularly festive this year, I do have a story about my favorite Christmas movie for you.

Every year when we were on Christmas Break my Mom would take us to 'The Video Store' (I don't even remember it's real name anymore).  For older movies they had this deal called 5 movies, 5 days, $5.  And we were allowed to go and collectively pick 5 movies that we could watch while we were on break.  We did this for years.  EVERY year I wanted to get Prancer, it's my favorite Christmas movie.  I have NO idea where I got this obsession with this movie, but I love it!

I don't think I'd seen it in a couple years, except for when it came on TV, after I went away to college, but my Mom a few years ago found it on DVD, so I now own the movie.   It'll forever be my favorite!  I'm actually really looking forward to watching it this year.  It's one of the only things I really want to do on Christmas.

Well that's my Christmas Story for you all...G'night my <3's and Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Home for the Holidays - or Not

Despite the fact that I moved 2,000 miles away from all my family and friends to go to college about 8 years ago, there are still very few moments over the course of those 8 years that I can say I was legitimately homesick.  It's not that I don't miss my family and friends, I do.  But I cherish the life I have made for myself out here, and cherish the moments I get to spend back in Illinois with them, when I have the chance, even more.

The first time I remember being homesick was my Aunt's memorial.  Every single one of my Aunts, Uncles and Cousins were there except me.  I felt bad that I was the only one missing, but it's what I have learned to live with.  Sometimes you miss out on important moments, but you do the best you can.  And the people that love you will understand.

This will be my first Christmas away from home, and while I can honestly say I will NOT miss having a White Christmas, I could care less about snow and cold weather.  I will, however, miss my family!  Every family comes with drama, and mine is no different, especially around the holidays.  But I want them to know that I already miss them very much and wish I was there to celebrate with them.  Growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be...and neither is this homesick feeling.

Merry early Christmas to all my friends and family in Illinois, Ohio, and wherever else you are.  I love you all VERY much!!


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Letting Go

Any time a relationship ends there is usually more emotional damage than physical damage.  Or at least one would hope.  The emotional damage is hard to deal with, sometimes you don't even realize that you have any until something triggers it.

It doesn't matter what your role was in the relationship: girlfriend, husband, child, no one is immune.  I think in one way or another everyone out there has emotional damage.  Gone are the days where we live happily ever after.  There are no real fairy tales these days.  People break-up, parents get divorced, tragedy strikes.  And emotional damage becomes apart of us, something we can't really explain, something we hide.

I like to think that I do a good job of hiding my emotional damage.  It's not something I enjoy talking about, so I keep it to myself a lot.  But by doing so I push some people away.  I don't let them get close to me because I fear they won't like what's underneath.  So I make people work for it, I make people put effort into finding out who I really am and what makes me, me.  Right or wrong I'm not sure, I'm sure you could argue both cases.  But that's what I do.

My sister has some emotional damage as well, probably a little more than me.  She's a little more famous for wearing her heart on her sleeve, although she might beg to differ.  However, it's difficult for both of us to let people in.  Tonight in a conversation about this subject she said to me, "Yeah, well I guess we'll have to let go."  And as simple as it sounds, she is right.  We will.  We all will, every single one of us that walks around with emotional damage hidden somewhere, will have to learn to let go.  Because...Wayne Gretzky's quote fits well here: "You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take."


Enjoy <3