Friday, October 21, 2011

Why you Will or Won't want to Date Me

The following is an anonymous comment I received on my I Don't Let Myself blog from earlier today.  I liked it so much I thought I'd give it its own blog.  It's mostly true, not all...but mostly.  I always find it interesting to see how true astrological type personality classifications can be.  Maybe we should give these things to people we'd save us a lot of wasted time dating.  Enjoy...

What it's like to date a Gemini Woman:
The Gemini woman is truly enchanting. However, dating her might feel more like a friendship then a real relationship due to her casual nature. This is not necessarily a disadvantage, for the casual man who shy's away from overly romantic emotions, she is the perfect woman. Since she is the astrology sign of the duality, she offers quite the challenge. On one hand, she needs to be nurtured, loved and catered to and on the other hand, she needs stimulation and novelty. She is very demanding and if you do not provide what she wants, she will be off onto the next adventure pretty quickly. To keep her interested is a challenge, not completely impossible so she is the perfect woman for the man who likes stimulation and a challenge. She needs a partner with a quick mind, she tends to poke and prod at the emotions and the minds of those who are mentally slower then her, make sure you can keep up with her wit or you will briskly be left behind. She is prone to keeping men on a string, not completely heartlessly, she is evaluating if the man is worth her attention and her time.  She has no time to waste with a dull man. Once you have her approval, she can easily become jealous. The reason for her is jealousy is that if she is going to open up to a man, when she rarely completely opens up to anyone, she does not want to risk being deceived or hurt. If you are with a Gemini woman and she becomes jealous, you are on the right track to true love! Gemini women are so exciting that they are worth the effort, you will remember her forever!

How to Attract Gemini:
Love to talk, that is the first rule about impressing a Gemini. Be knowledgeable about what you talk about too because Gemini are intelligent and have lots of knowledge about many things. If you are an expert on a certain topic, teach them about it, you will impress them because this know-it-all sign does not usually know fine details about a lot of things, they are too busy to bother to learn. Speak your mind, engage them in a friendly debate but never be too conservative, they find this dull. Be honest and loyal to a Gemini, once they have had their trust broken they usually will never get it back again. Gemini are easy to date, they will do any activity anywhere. Just have fun, like you would with a friend because that's what Gemini are, a great friend.

Gemini and Independence:
Gemini are extremely independent. They will not be pinned down by anyone or any rules. They need to experience the world on their own. Change and freedom are extremely important to Gemini, they will never let anyone dictate them, they are extremely independent and freedom is essential to their mental well being.

Gemini and Friendship:
Gemini make very interesting and exciting friends. They like to leave their mark on everyone they meet. They are very flighty and will disappear for a long time as they meet new friends and explore new places. But when they come back, they will have new thoughts, opinions and interesting things to share and ideas to teach. Life is very interesting and fun with a Gemini friend. If you need any advice, Gemini is the one to ask. They are masters of communication and they can help you get what you need by helping you with persuasion and enthusiasm, and they give good advice too. Do not however, bog a Gemini down with all of your emotional problems, they are not one to deal with it because it depresses them and steps on their freedom if you need too much long term help, support and follow up. A Gemini friend can fill you in with the latest gossip and if you love conversation, the Gemini delivers! They are very generous with their friends, they will spend lots of time with you and share everything with you. Even though Gemini is a social butterfly, they always need time for themselves and that should be respected.

I Don't Let Myself

I don't really let myself like many guys.  I don't know why, but most of the time when I meet a guy I get to the "you annoy me" stage faster than the "I like you" stage.  Which sometimes results in really bad timing when they get to the "I like you" stage and I've reached the "you annoy me" stage.

I hear all the time "why don't you have a boyfriend?"  Most of the time my answer is "I get tired of them" or "I get annoyed with them".  It sounds dumb, but it's true.  I'm very good at being friends with guys because I'm not trying to date and marry them, so whatever tendencies or traits they have that I might find annoying in a boyfriend, don't bug me as a friend.  I'm extremely picky and I'm even more guarded; it takes a lot for me to let you in.  Most people tell me that they don't know what I'm thinking.  Sometimes I wish they would because I think I get misunderstood in certain situations.  But sometimes I think that "not knowing what I'm thinking" is my defense mechanism.

Somewhat on the contrary I'm a very caring person.  I care deeply about a lot of people in my life.  Caring that much sometimes gets me into trouble.  I have a very Mom-like persona.  I like to help, I like to care for people and therefore I worry about people.  Disappointment is part of life.  You can't change people, something I know but am continuously reminded.  Sometimes the people you care most about in life, disappoint you, it's part of the ups and downs of every relationship no matter the nature of that relationship.

Life isn't perfect and neither are we.  We all have moments of pure joy and absolute heartbreak.  We all need to smile and laugh, fall down and cry.

I hope eventually we all let someone in who makes us wonder how we lived without them, even me.


Sunday, October 16, 2011

When I Was Little

This was written by my sister the other day and she sent it to me to read. I asked her if I could post it on my blog for her and she gave me permission.  So here you are...  Enjoy!

When I was little I was repeatedly told my sister was gorgeous, my brother was a genius.  My sister is gorgeous, my brother is a genius.  Hmm... Well what was I?  Well I was the ugly duckling.  I was skinny, but had lots of pimples and disgusting frizzy curly hair.  My mom, of course, would tell me I was pretty, but not the person I ever really cared what he thought, which was my father.  He was never around when I was younger so I tried desperately to win his approval.  I wanted to be pretty and I wanted to be smart.  Even when I ran and competed I was never good enough.  There was always something I could do to be better.  I was never told "good job."  I stopped trying because I realized that it was just never going to happen.  It finally came to me that I was never going to hear what I wanted when I was in my prom dress my senior year.  I felt gorgeous, for probably the first time in my life, and he didn't say a word.  Now a days I have an eating disorder that will consume me for the rest of my life.  It is not something I am very proud of, but it is something that just makes me who I am.  I tried so hard for so long to hear someone tell me those words that now when people tell me, it goes in one ear and out the other.  I don't believe it when people tell me, because if people didn't think it back then then why do they think it now?  Today and for the rest of my life I will not think I ever had a father because he does not understand me nor has he ever been there for me.  It is because of him that I think about myself the way I do.  It is because of him that my mom, the greatest parent in the world will walk me down the aisle when I get married, and not him.  And because of him I will choose to have a father-daughter dance with my father-in-law and not him.  Congratulations Dad, I hope you got what you wanted.  

My Sister and my Mom on My Sister's Senior Prom Night

<3 you all!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


This is one of my favorite poems ever, but since I couldn't find a good image with the poem on it we'll have to do it separately.

"One night a man had a dream.  He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.  Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.  For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand.  One belonging to him and the other belonging to the Lord.

When the last scene from his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.  He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.  He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.  Lord you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way.  But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints.  I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you!  During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

I think that no matter what you believe, there is always someone watching over us.  And that is why I have decided this will be my 5th tattoo, to remind me that when times are hard there is always someone there for me, to carry me even if I don't always notice.

G'night my <3's!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I Wanna be a Toys R Us Kid

I knew that sleeping in today was going to come back and bite me in the ass, I am of course not tired now and need to be up early.  So we'll blog for a bit, since I'd been thinking about it anyway, and attempt to sleep after.

This has been a topic of conversation recently, in my world, figuring out what you want to do with the rest of your life.  I need to figure that out, among other people.  It seems as though more and more people are falling under this category.  We'll say they're "Spinning".  They're working or going to school, but still trying to find out what they're ultimately passionate about.  More and more people are attending college now it seems, but once you get a degree what do you do with it?

I chose a degree I thought I would enjoy, but as I got to the end and finished I discovered all the jobs most people do with my degree were underwhelming to me.  I started my Master's but stopped because I wasn't happy with that direction either.  I, in all honesty, am not really sure I am "made" to do one specific job, I like doing all kinds of different things, it keeps me from getting antsy and bored.  My brother on the other hand knows what he is made to do and he has stuck with it, and I have no doubt he will get exactly where he wants to go.  I am enormously proud of where he is today, with plenty of future ahead of him to accomplish everything he dreams and more.  But him and I are very different.  He is on the straight and narrow and I...well...I'm probably not really on a path any more.

Whenever I think about this topic I am reminded of the Toys R Us commercial from when I was a kid.  No one wants to grow up, they want to stay kids forever.  And I sense that more and more people feel this way.

There is a lot of pressure as an adult.  You need to finish school, get a job, buy a house, buy a car, get married, have a kid, etc....  Sometimes the idea of all of that sounds fun, but it adds up!  And life doesn't happen at the same age or in the same order for everyone.  Some people know what they want to do with their lives from an early age and others of us struggle.  Some of us find the love of our lives earlier in life and some of us may never find them.  Some of us will have kids, but it's not for everyone.  Some of us will buy several houses over the course of our lives, and some prefer to rent.  Some of us are planners and some of us like to fly by the seat of our pants.

I'm not entirely sure why there is so much pressure for all of these things, because ultimately our own happiness is what matters.  And as long as you achieve happiness in your life who cares how long it took you, what age you accomplished it at, or what order it happened for you in?!

I believe that we should never be afraid to be who we are, because who we are is beautiful in one way or another.  We are born different, and we should try to our best to remain that way.  And no one thing is right for everyone.  (I apologize if I stole those quotes without actually quoting them...I may have heard them before, or may have made them up, I'm not sure).

And with that I say...G'night my loves! <3