When I was little I was repeatedly told my sister was gorgeous, my brother was a genius. My sister is gorgeous, my brother is a genius. Hmm... Well what was I? Well I was the ugly duckling. I was skinny, but had lots of pimples and disgusting frizzy curly hair. My mom, of course, would tell me I was pretty, but not the person I ever really cared what he thought, which was my father. He was never around when I was younger so I tried desperately to win his approval. I wanted to be pretty and I wanted to be smart. Even when I ran and competed I was never good enough. There was always something I could do to be better. I was never told "good job." I stopped trying because I realized that it was just never going to happen. It finally came to me that I was never going to hear what I wanted when I was in my prom dress my senior year. I felt gorgeous, for probably the first time in my life, and he didn't say a word. Now a days I have an eating disorder that will consume me for the rest of my life. It is not something I am very proud of, but it is something that just makes me who I am. I tried so hard for so long to hear someone tell me those words that now when people tell me, it goes in one ear and out the other. I don't believe it when people tell me, because if people didn't think it back then then why do they think it now? Today and for the rest of my life I will not think I ever had a father because he does not understand me nor has he ever been there for me. It is because of him that I think about myself the way I do. It is because of him that my mom, the greatest parent in the world will walk me down the aisle when I get married, and not him. And because of him I will choose to have a father-daughter dance with my father-in-law and not him. Congratulations Dad, I hope you got what you wanted.
My Sister and my Mom on My Sister's Senior Prom Night
<3 you all!