Thoughts

I hate to be one of those girls that's "never over their ex" and this is not going to be one of those posts, but it does have some reference.  So...you have been warned :)

I have never been the boyfriend girl.  I have always had guys around, I'm kind of a guys girl and have always had more guy friends than girl friends.  And I've always had crushes, boys I've liked, 'dates', etc.  But I am also picky as hell when it comes to who I could actually "spend the rest of my life with" and I refuse to give you a chance and call you my boyfriend if I don't think it'll work in the future.  It's kind of a joke, but it has been said that if you last two weeks with me you must be special and if you make it two months you must really be special.  It's a joke, but it has some truth behind it.  It doesn't take me long to decide whether I'd like you to stick around in my life or not.

I've had a couple other relationships, but they were all very short.  The most recent one was the longest, best relationship I've had.  The whole experience changed me a lot, and I now have a better point of reference going forward for really what I am truly looking for out of a partner.  I am still trying to figure out what I really want to do with my life, I think I will forever be on that quest honestly.  But I am at the point in my life, that I am really ready for a relationship.  I don't have a lot of time these days, but I miss having that other person there when you've had a long day and you just want to curl up and be with the person that makes you happy.  I miss having someone to eat with and sleep next to, and just be there when you need them, and I never thought I would miss all of that the most.

Relationships take work and they're never easy, but at the same time there are relationships that really ARE easy, and they just work.  I never knew this to be true until my most recent relationshiop.  Until the end everything was just so effortless and natural.  Dating sucks, it is seriously not fun at all.

Most people tell you that you have to figure out who you are and what you want to do with your life before you can make someone else happy, and part of me believes that.  I believe you have to be happy with who you are, because you cannot expect to make someone else happy if you can't make yourself happy.  But in my personal life I feel like I could be happy doing anything career-wise as long as I have a happy relationship and a family.  I am not saying that I would give up who I am to have the relationship & family, but I also do not want a career that is going to get in the way of me having a relationship and family.  I was born to be a mom, and that ranks higher than career on my list.

I guess I'm not getting any younger at this point, and I'm tired of the same old thing.  I'm ready for the next step in my life.  I don't need to go out and meet boys...I need to just meet "the one" boy.  I'm not in a rush to make it happen...just ready for it.

Now...this old lady needs to get her beauty rest.  G'night all! <3