Feeling Special

I talk a fair amount about finding my "Prince Charming".  And while I have not given up that quest, I have a more important issue to talk about tonight.

I have recently decided to give up boys, which of course is not working, the emotional stress of a relationship is just more than I can handle currently.  Dating, in truth, sucks...it really is just no fun.  I'm tired of feeling like I'm wasting my time at the end of yet another failed not even a relationship "relationship".  But at the same time I like feeling that closeness with someone, the closeness that can only be shared through cuddling, kissing, sex.  Which is why, of course, I cannot give up on guys completely.  I'm lured in by their cuteness and potential for greatness.  It's hard.  A friend and I were talking this weekend.  Very few people that I have "been with" (take that however you want) have made me feel special.  I mean that in no disrespect to those that didn't make me feel special, I think it's just something I have grown to appreciate more with age.  But regardless of the nature of my relationship with said people, there is a select group of people in my lifetime that have made me and continue to make me feel special when I'm with them, comfortable.  A comfort that is hard to express, but is felt with your whole body in a remarkably natural way.

I think that we all want to feel special when we're with the people were dating, sleeping with, seeing.  But a lot of the time we settle for not getting that feeling, because we want the company, we feel we don't deserve it, or we truly don't know what it's like to have that feeling.

I was asked recently what I was looking for in my certain someone, and frankly I have a large list.  But at the end of the day I just want to feel that special feeling.  I want to know that no matter what is going on at the end of the day, you're thinking of me.  That when you and I are together, you're in the moment with me.  I want you to look into my eyes and give me butterflies, because at that moment nothing else exists...just you and me.  And if in the end it doesn't work between you and I, that's fine.  Because I know what you and I had was special, and I'll remember it always.

I hope everyone gets to experience that amazingly special feeling someday.  Because everyone IS special, and deserves to feel and be treated that way.  If you haven't found it yet, don't give up...it's out there and you'll find it!

<3